Home Safe and the Ottawa Aftermath

Update

The Gripin. Someone on X said that and I love it. Its a fun fact that I love little trinkets amd merch. I also love physical pamphlets. You should always be prepared for me to ask for some. I don't care if you think it's usless promotional material. I like having it.

I made it home safe! After many of you asking if I was okay today, I can happily report that I am home and back to my more mundane little corner of the Galaxy. I was going to write earlier, but wife and kids obviously wanted my attention today! I didn't end up home until past 8 almost; so, sadly, there was not much welcoming home.

After two days in Ottawa, I can sagely say that I am beat. One week of hard work, another sick, and this week running around have left me drained to hell—and all during the time I hoped would be slow and peaceful.

Fortunately not, my dear viewer. Instead, Noah was summoned to our wonderful capital to join in on a dinner hosted by the German embassy. Of course, who am I—the humble, innocent clown that talks about defence—to turn down such an offer?

And it was a lovely dinner, with lovely conversations. I am both honoured and overjoyed to have been invited, and to sit with my fellow peers whom I sadly don't get to interact with thanks to being alone in the middle of nowhere.

The last two days in Ottawa were both tiring and enlightening. I don't think I've been quite that busy in years! Out the door at eight and back after ten. I have very much learnt that I am not built for the Ottawa life. I don't know how so many of you do it day in and day out. I was done by the end of day two!

Nevertheless, it wasn't for nothing. Several companies met, three ambassadors, and over thirty people all crammed into two days. To say I am impressed at how many were so eager and excited to meet me is an understatement. Never in my life did I imagine so many would be interested in me. Admittedly my ego is very happy with myself; however, I digress.

It was nice to engage with people face to face. For the longest time, I preferred to mostly isolate myself to the bare minimum of interaction needed. However, I have learnt that such a thing is impossible in this industry, and if I want to be part of it, I need to be out there with people.

That, of course, goes back to a lot of my emotions: the anxiety of exploding so quickly in popularity, the directionless feeling of no plan, and the knowledge that I am significantly younger than most in this scene. That creates a very weird feeling, especially when I have little story to tell in how I got into all of this.

However, surprisingly, I did not feel that there. I did not feel this imposter looming over my shoulder, nor the sense of dread in meeting others who might have high expectations of the boy they know here.

It was strange; that place is strange. It's a world to itself, a world I am very much not a part of. I'm an outsider to the Ottawa bubble, and I wanna keep it that way. However, never once did I feel out of place. Never once did I feel the tourist. I almost felt like I was slipping into the motions, the song and dance that is Ottawa.

Creepy... nevertheless I enjoyed myself, despite having little personal time to myself. I got to meet a lot of interesting characters, many of whom I am glad took the time out of their busy lives to sit down and speak to me. It was a privilege on my part to get that chance to sit and see so many of you.

I won't name for confidentiality, of course; that would be a bit rude. Even though I did show off some stuff. Funny enough, I was expecting to meet a lot less given all the folks over in Korea. However, it seems once word got out I was in town, I was a popular attraction to see.

I was also surprised to hear how many people wanted my advice on things, my insight. That might seem strange from someone who calls themselves an analyst; however, I guess I'm still not fully over the idea that there are people who look to me for information, who trust my advice and my word. I have accepted that role, that position. It is why I try to be harsh on my work, why I can sometimes scrap articles three or four times over to get it right.

I don't always hold myself to quality. It's me after all; however, when I do, I take it seriously. Perhaps I should have seen that going in, however, it will never shock me when it happens. The excitement though—the general hopeful feeling that I felt there—was something that gave a smile to my face.

There is still anxiety and worry around everyone. There is still a sense of paranoia. Yet I didn't see that on display. What I saw were people across industry, CAF, and government excited for the future, hopeful that maybe things would finally be allowed to change.

There is obviously no universal mentality around, everyone has some sense of concern somewhere; however, compared to much of the doom and skepticism one would expect, I was happy to see that not on display.

There is an acknowledgement that we need to take the risks, that the current system can not sustain itself much longer.

It is better to try and fail than to do nothing and rot, and that is what many people see. There is a lot of young, fresh blood and minds working in places like ISED, DND, etc., with a mandate to get things done, and a government that is being supportive in getting there.

There are also many who for many years felt very hopeless about everything that are now feeling invigorated at the chance to make meaningful change.

Make no mistake, things have changed, and people are acknowledging it. They understand that there is a duty, because now the government is demanding results, and demanding them very quickly. The pressure is there, and with that there are people who have been waiting to step up.

I won't say I'm hopeful for everything, but everyone I met across industry, DND, and CAF were excited and ready to put in the effort. They want to do something greater than themselves and leave something to be proud of. I did not meet one person who wasn't prepared to do more, prepared to struggle to get things done.

People want change. They want a better system. They now have the mandate to try. That means a lot in my mind. That is all I feel I can ask of many people. I am not there. That isn't my culture. That isn't my life. It feels a bit wrong to say they're wrong from my own worries, even if I acknowledge they exist.

It isn't my circus. It isn't my show to perform in, but I left confident that the people there, the people working there, were prepared and willing to do what needed to be done. I have left with a sense of relief, a feeling of calm.

I obviously am not the person to judge the future. Nor am I going to be the one to put on the act of pretending all is well. However, I am happier with the state of things now than on Monday, and that means a lot to me. That is all I could ask out of this trip.

Now I return to my lowly street corner, back to my solo act. Back into the thick of things with a fresh mindset and a glimpse into what is happening on the frontlines of this seismic shift. Hopefully I will get to meet those of you that I missed this time around! Maybe I will go to Outlooks so I don't have to try and catch people at CANSEC. We shall see.

Until then we return to our normal performance, our usual show. The next few weeks will be challenging, busy, and full of change. Perhaps I will get my vacation in June...